Hi, let me introduce myself. I’m Estephanie. You may know me as potatoteptep. I’ve been here for quite a while. I saw this website on facebook and got hook because its a community for introverts. This site made me interact with people who are not hypocrites and expressing their feelings, emotions, and life in a single post. I can be myself here. I can say what is going on inside my head, behind my smile and behind my façade look. Behind it, lies a young woman that been misunderstood, been belittle, been left out and been hurt. My life is one hell of a ride and I know you guys are having phases — where life is throwing fireballs and there are times you always catch it. I’ve been depressed before and it was the time where I don’t know what to feel, because there are emotions coming in that you never know what to feel. Every day, I just let it sink in and I just keep living. Until, I went numb. Until, I don’t give a damn anymore. I always in the attachment department in life where you got so attached to people that they will longer be not available and they just got out of line, even I’m still on the line. They will hung up and then there’s a sudden infinite beep sound on the end. I was fed up and decide to hung up too. I made my own party-line, where there was me, myself and I. I got to the point in life where I never expect to someone anymore. That in life you shouldn’t expect too much because you’re just going to hurt yourself. You can make others happy by not giving it all. I’ve been on that point in life where I was always there that I give it all that nothing was left in me. I was so empty and bitterness is consuming me. It made me cold. It made me strong. It’s okay to feel things but you have to be limited, where your heart and mind our both thinking the same thing. Its hard to decide when your heart wants you to but your brains don’t want to. My brother said, “having second thoughts can kill you, sis.” So, that made me realize things. Decide when your heart and mind are just one. I don’t like being in the limelight, its ironic because everytime I dress myself or dye my hair in a bold and happy color people are looking at me. Like, there’s something on my face. Behind everything, I am an ambitious woman who wants to go on an adventure and face my fears, be independent, and be real. This past few months, I can tell that I was changing. I’m changing for myself and for the sake of my future. I became mature when it comes to dealing with emotions and feelings. I know its not easy to get back up and tell yourself that you are okay. Everything takes time and always remember this is just a phase and it will stop but it will not fade. Like, I said just keep living.
The reason why my featured photo is a cactus, because I endure the pain. No matter how painful and difficult. I endure things and thrive despite the challenges in life.
“Don’t let the world bring you down. Everything you need is inside of you and you too can produce beautiful things in the middle of an empty desert.”