By Johnny Papan
Often times, our social nature will classify us into two categories: Introversion and Extroversion. While introverts will spend most of their time by themselves in blissful relaxation, extroverts often pride themselves on being the centre of attention; laughing, dancing and dressing loudly on the opposite end of the behavioural spectrum. It can be difficult for these two personality-types to blend with one-another. Alternatively, the right pairing will mix wonderfully. Sometimes this concoction of introversion and extroversion will find itself succumbed within a single person, serving both as a blessing and a curse.
Have you ever gone to a party and met someone with an astounding energy? There’s laughter echoing from any corner they’re in, they approach strangers without fear and they might even engage you in an unexpectedly wonderful chat about yourself and the things you love. You’ll draw a connection to this person, exchange numbers or Facebooks and then… won’t hear from them for months.
Don’t take it too personally, chances are you have just encountered an Extro-Introvert. Someone who just took anywhere from a couple of days to several weeks to build up the energy to be that outlandishly fun conversationalist at the party. Now that the big night out is over, they are back in social hibernation.
Extro-Introverts are interesting in the sense that they LOVE spending time with themselves and they LOVE going out, meeting people and letting loose, but cannot have too much of either. An Extro-Introvert could spend an entire weekend frolicking like a wild animal on one-too many cans of red-bull, but once the sun rises, they will bundle up in a cave of blankets and keep out of eyesight for a generous period of time.
They don’t do this on purpose, for some reason this is just how they operate. Many wish they could be a party-person all the time, but they understand their clock just doesn’t tick like that. They know they only have so much energy to give and a lot of the time they blow it all in extreme increments throughout the day, or over the course of a night.
Some Extro-Introverts are full of energy and talkative when they’re out in everyday environments such as at work or school, yet don’t often go to social events. This can, a lot of the time, give people the wrong idea. If someone regularly sees you being chatty and energetic, they will most likely assume you are a straight up extrovert all the time. This may incline them to invite you to some sort of social gathering, fully expecting you to bring your contagious aura to the party. The extrovert in you will be excited about it in the moment, you’ll be there for sure! But then the time comes… You just got home after a long week of work and you honestly just aren’t feeling it anymore. You need some home time. Sometimes you can force yourself out physically, but mentally… it’s a game of russian roulette. You could go out and have a good time. Or you might go out, be quiet and want to go home. All depends on who you are and what your mood is.
This predicament sets you up for a lose-lose situation. You’ll either be considered a flake for staying home, or you’ll be coasting the party with lacklustre enthusiasm. Since people are so used to seeing your explosive social-skills, a downtuned attitude might rub them the wrong way. The problem with setting a type of “bar” on your personality is people’s expectancies for you to continuously live up to it, which is systematically impossible. We all need off days, don’t be apologetic if you need to stay in.
That being said, Extro-Introverts are hard to spot. Keep an eye out for the people who start the work-week off strong and slowly dissipate into their own quiet corners as the week progresses. If they’re out and about too many days in a row, their firecracker personality will fizzle out. Their mood will change, they may seem sluggish. Alternatively, if they spend far too many days chilling out in their lonesome, the Extro-Introvert may start to feel anxious, itching for a night out on the town. Extro-Introverts are a hit or miss species.
Because of the mental reflection of their introverted side, the creativity expressed in social interactions often make Extro-Introverts unpredictable. When the extroverted side shines, they will often say and do things that you don’t expect and in big ways. This is what attracts us to most extroverts and Extro-Introverts, people like to be kept on their toes.
Just don’t expect an Extro-Introvert to go to all your parties.